It is 6:15am on a Saturday morning, and I have been awake since 4:15. Thanks to a little boy who had a rough night. I tried going back to sleep, but after a half hour of tossing and turning, I decided to get up.
I could have stayed in bed, waiting for sleep to return, which it normally does. It is Saturday, after all, I should be able to sleep in, right? But, I desired to get out of bed, open my Bible and study God’s Word. I don’t think there has ever been a time where I was driven to get up EARLY and be in the Word. I have been a Christian for over 30 years (oh my! that is a long time!), and I have always struggled to be consistent in the spending time with God part, especially early in the morning. But there is something so sweet and lovely to take the time to listen to God speak during the early morning.
Let me take a moment and rewind a few weeks, even days here. For this is new…and way out of my usual.
I was dry…bone dry…lost in a desert dry…thirsty and looking for satisfaction.
There are a lot of reasons why I was feeling so parched. For almost 2 years, every Sunday I spend the first worship time in our preschool area. While I get to go to our small group time during the second hour, I rarely got a chance to go to worship. My daily life, spending time in the Word was more of a check box instead of a drink of water and satisfying meal.
I turned other things to fill my soul need, food, TV, facebook…I was looking for rest and renewal. Instead I wasted time “resting”, because I felt I deserved it-I follow two active boys around, I try to clean the house, I was up a lot the night before, etc. I thought my problem was that I was tired, and I deserved to take a break while the boys napped to relax and turn off my brain. I became a person I didn’t recognize. My attitudes were off, I got frustrated easier.
I knew I needed a change. Enter in a speaker at one of my MOPS meeting late last fall. She started talking about finding satisfaction. As she spoke, I realized I had a lot of work to do to, as she put it, “clean out my pantry”. I purchased her study, and asked my mom if she would be willing to go through it with me.
We started the study at the beginning of January. There have been some pretty hard days, where I have had to really think and look at what I am doing, instead of what I need to be doing. I realized that my biggest soul hunger was renewal and rest. I decided that if I was really going to be able to spend the time to get in the Word, I needed to get up early (not a thing I enjoy…my bed in the morning is the most comfortable and warm place to be-why do I want to leave it).
Come and hear, all who fear God,
And I will tell of what He has done for my soul. ~ Ps 66:16
This week, while I didn’t always get up right when my alarm went off, I still got up early enough to have my study time before the boys woke up. The past few days, I felt really exhausted. So, exhausted that when the boys went down for a nap, I wanted to as well. But guess what? I struggled with it and brought it to God. I told Him how tired I was, and He renewed my soul and my body. I was able to use the time to create. Things that I have wanted to do, but didn’t because I was too busy trying to fill my soul with other things. God blessed me refreshment and renewal. The verse I clung to and I prayed this week was:
Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth,
does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable.
He gives strength to the weary,
and to him who lacks might, He increases power.
Though youths grow weary and tired,and vigorous men stumble badly,
YET those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength.
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.
God is good! He supplies all our needs. Even those we don’t realize we have yet. God blessed me this week, by satisfying my soul.
If you are interested in the study I mentioned, check out Kay Harms blog.